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Urso Tobias

Tobias, or not Tobias, that is the question. Divagações de um urso.

Urso Tobias

Tobias, or not Tobias, that is the question. Divagações de um urso.

Oração ao Senhor para nos livrar do Carnaval

Pai Nosso
Que estais nos Céus,
Santificado seja o Vosso nome.
Venha a nós o Vosso reino,
Seja feita a Vossa vontade
Assim na Terra como no Céu.
O pão nosso de cada dia nos dai hoje.
Perdoai-nos as nossas ofensas
Assim como nós perdoamos a quem nos tem ofendido
E não nos deixeis cair em tentação
Mas livrai-nos do Carnaval.
Amén.

30 Things I Learned About Porn

  1. Women wear high heels to bed.
  2. Men are never impotent.
  3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
  4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
  5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
  6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
  7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
  8. Women always orgasm when men do.
  9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
  10. All women are noisy fucks.
  11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
  12. Those tits are real.
  13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
  14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
  15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
  16. Double penetration makes women smile.
  17. Asian men don't exist.
  18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
  19. There's a plot.
  20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
  21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
  22. Men always pull out.
  23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
  24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
  25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
  26. Assholes are clean.
  27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
  28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
  29. Men don't have to beg.
  30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Anna Nicole Smith morreu aos 39 anos

A modelo e actriz Anna Nicole Smith foi hoje encontrada morta num quarto de um hotel da Flórida, nos Estados Unidos, afirmou o seu advogado, Ronald Rale.
A morte de Anna Nicole Smith surge cinco meses após o falecimento do filho da actriz Daniel Smith, de 20 anos, que morreu nas Bahamas.

"Uma morte. Duas grandes perdas."

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